Wondering when we are going to see our little dumpling?
When we started on this journey back in January I must be honest in saying that I really really really REALLY wanted to adopt...I really wanted to add to our family this way and I just love children and my arms were aching for another one (Even though we have already been blessed with the 3 best kids in the world) and most importantly I felt God's calling on my heart so strongly to adopt and I just needed to answer that RIGHT NOW!!!!!
I asked Jesus to please break my heart with the things that break His, please show me what makes you sad, please show me what needs there are, please show me what you see, even a glimpse.....and He did, and He put a love inside of me for this waiting little one of mine, that is so strong that I will do whatever it takes to get to her.
But through this whole process I also asked Jesus to please make me love Him more, make it so that even if this was to somehow fall through and not happen, that we were somehow unable to adopt that I would love Him just the same, and maybe more than I did before, because I don't want to love Him just because He answers my prayers, even when they are Godly desires I am asking to be fulfilled, I want to love Him with my whole heart because He is AMAZING!!!!!
And I can tell you that that is exactly what He has done, I am so in love with Him that it makes me cry just thinking about Him, that's what He has done through this waiting and hoping process, made me even more dependent on Him and so sold out for Him that He is all that I want.
JUST GIVE ME JESUS.